Ever since giving birth to Gideon and Aidan, everyone assumes that I’m done having children. You wouldn’t believe the strange things that people say to the parents of twins.
“Hey, at least you got it all done in one swoop!” (Um… tell that to my saggy belly skin or my poor hips!)
“I’m so sorry… Better you than me though!”
“So did you get your tubes tied or did your husband get snipped?”
“You are done now, right?
I know people don’t mean to be rude, but those comments hurt my heart…
How can people say they feel sorry for me? I have two beautiful, healthy baby boys! I get to spend all day breathing in the smell of their tiny heads and losing myself in their gummy smiles.
These boys are an answer to my prayers. When I went into preterm labor, we were discussing the possibility of them dying… There is nothing to be sorry about, but there is plenty to praise God for!
And when people start to inquire about whether I am done or not, I don’t know what to say. To be honest, I think I’ll always want more children. I’ll never want to give up the empowerment that comes from growing a human in my womb. I will always want to witness the miracle of another tiny human coming into the world. I will never want to give up the newborn snuggles and fuzzy haired toddlers running around the house.
So yes, I do want more. I don’t know if God will see fit to give us more, but a big part of me hopes that He does.
When I allow myself to think about the fact that someday I will rock one of my children for the last time, my heart shatters. How could I ever be done with that?