When God Made You

I recently purchased a children’s book titled, “When God Made You” by Jane G. Meyer. The book showcases children from around the world, and poetically describes what God was thinking as He created them. The illustrations are stunning and the message of the book is uplifting. It will make a perfect addition to my girls’ Pascha baskets.17797297_771529353011470_2120100665_o

Inspired by the story, I decided to write up little descriptions that define what God was thinking as He made my girls. My attempts aren’t quite as eloquent as the original author, but I think they fit my girls perfectly.

When God made Renee, He plucked a dandelion from the earth, sprinkled glitter on top of it, gently wrapped it in a bright colored package, and refined it in fire. He blindfolded the beautiful little soul He had just created and with a laugh He revealed His surprise and said, Renee, PLAY.

When God made Nora, He mixed giggles, smiles, and snuggles in a large sandbox. He added a few sprinkles of spunk and a pinch of a apple seeds. He poured the blend into a heart shaped mold and said, Nora, LOVE.

 

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“I’m Booored…”

As a Stay at Home Mom, I find it hard to balance the amount of time I spend engaging with my children and the time I spend doing adult things. I don’t know why, but I feel responsible for keeping my children entertained and ensuring that they don’t get bored. Some nights I end the day wondering if I neglected my children.


Did I spend too much time cleaning, cooking, and reading?

Should I have added more structured activities and sensory play into the schedule?

Are my kids going to look back on their childhood fondly?

 

Do you ever wonder if our parents and grandparents felt this way? I don’t think they did… As a child I don’t remember any structured activities. I remember playing outside in the dirt and making secret clubhouses in the woods behind our house. My neighbor friend and I used to imagine our own secret worlds. The smell of fresh cut grass and rain on warm asphalt takes me back to those days.

 

When I reflect on my own childhood, I begin to wonder if I am actually doing my children a disservice. Using flashcards, educational television, and sensory activities can rob children of learning how to manage their own time… Structured play can squash creativity. I could go on and on.

 

I am going to make a commitment to myself. I am going to start limiting TV, electronics, and structured educational activities. Instead, I am going to encourage my children to play outside and explore the world. Why not let them perform a musical or make their own paper dolls? They don’t need a bowl of rice to dig through when they have a flowerbed of earthworms to uncover.

 
Above all else, I am going to give up that nagging feeling that I am not doing enough for my kids. I cook them three homemade meals a day, I wash their clothes, and I clean the house. I spend about an hour reading bedtime stories and tucking them in at night. I’m doing just fine and I bet you are too.

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For the Love of the Lord

 

Spencer and I just returned from a relaxing weekend at the Hermitage of the Holy Cross. After spending a few days immersed in deep conversations and heavenly worship, I am having a hard time getting back into my regular routine.

While at the monastery, I confessed giving into my depression and slacking off with my household duties. Now here I sit faced with a choice. I can strive towards a life of repentance and dive right into my chores without complaining, or I can veg out on the couch and waste away my time on social media sites. To some this might seem like a trivial matter, but I know that my decision could very well put me one step closer to heaven or hell.

There is a list of chores sitting on my kitchen counter. Today the list calls for dusting, washing the bed sheets, and vacuuming. In reality, I could put off these chores until my husband is home and can help. Things would certainly get done faster… Or I could offer up my work to my family and the Lord as an act of love.

As I dust the shelves I quietly pray, “I do this for the love of the Lord.” As I vacuum up pretzels I repeat, “For the love of the Lord and my children.” As I spread crisp sheets on the bed my whole being chants, “For the love of the Lord and my marriage.”

These are such small acts. I don’t expect anyone to notice that I have dusted the living room and bedrooms. Even if they do notice, I doubt they would care very much. But in my heart I know that the Savior sees my hard work and I pray that He is pleased with me.

Today I choose to take one step closer to heaven.
“For the love of the Lord.”

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Five Minute Friday: Purpose

A few days ago, I sent in the paperwork to receive a “Religious Exemption” from Public Schooling for my daughter Renee. After a lot of thought, research, and prayer this seemed like the best option for our family. The decision to homeschool has been an emotional journey. Somedays I feel overwhelmed about the tasks that lie ahead, but most days I am extremely excited.

You might be wondering, like the majority of my extended family, what my purpose for homeschooling is. After all, wouldn’t it be easier to send my kids away during the day, and catch up on chores or enjoy a little “me time”? Wouldn’t my children benefit from the socialization?

Those are all tempting ideas to consider, but I am sticking to my convictions…

My purpose in homeschooling is immersing my children in the Orthodox Christian culture. The flexibility of homeschooling gives us the freedom to attend more weekly Church services and allows me to integrate the faith into every aspect of their lives.

I want to encourage strong family relationships, create lifelong learners, and make memories.

To sum it all up…

Our Homeschool Mission Statement:

The Judd Family homeschool seeks to build strong family bonds and develop godly character by immersing our children into the Orthodox culture, fostering a love for lifelong learning, and making lasting memories throughout it all. Our ultimate goal is spiritual maturity and academic success.

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The Spiritual Rose of Platina

I have a special bond with Blessed Fr. Seraphim Rose. While visiting the Hermitage of the Holy Cross with my heterodox Father, during the summer of 2016, Fr. Seraphim Rose made himself known to us. Of all the books in the guest house, my Dad picked up a huge biography on the Saints life. Together we got lost in the pages of that book. We jumped around in the various chapters and found ourselves moved to tears by the Saint’s perseverance and determination to live a godly life. The sections about Fr. Seraphim’s death were particularly powerful.

When our pilgrimage was over I continued to develop a relationship with the Saint. The way he reached out to my Father was unmistakable. I made it a habit of asking Fr. Seraphim to pray for my Dad. I trusted that Fr. Seraphim would not let my Father slip through the cracks. If one day my Dad converts, I will know exactly who to thank.

A short time after my pilgrimage to the Hermitage, my husband and I decided to actively start trying to conceive. Typically, we have absolutely no problem getting pregnant right away. With my first daughter we got pregnant the very first month of trying. Then my second daughter surprised us with a positive pregnancy test only 6 months after Renee was born. I thought this time would be no different, but I was wrong.

Months passed, but my womb remained empty. My husband and I were utterly exhausted in every way. I was haunted by the thought that I might not ever get to grow life in my belly again. That’s when I turned to Blessed Fr. Seraphim. With tears streaming down my cheeks I begged him to pray for me. I rested my forehead on his icon and promised that if we conceived, I would name the child after him.

Shortly after that conversation, I got a positive pregnancy test. Fr. Seraphim had once again touched my life. His prayers worked! Some might say his prayers worked a little too well. During my 11th week ultrasound I found out that I was carrying twins!

Next week we will find out the sex of our two little blessings. I’m keeping my promise to Fr. Seraphim. Depending on the results, one of the babies will either be named Gideon Rose or Ada Rose.

I can’t wait to see what God has in store for these children. One thing is certain though, with Fr. Seraphim watching over them and praying for them, they are destined to turn out okay.

Blessed is God who is glorious in His Saints!

This Phase of Love

Proverbs 5:18b-19 “Rejoice together with the wife of your youth. Let your loving deer and graceful colt keep company with you, and let her alone go before you and be with you at all times; for in living with her love, you will be great.”

We walked into Target hand in hand, having just finished a hearty meal of filet and shrimp at our local Japanese steakhouse. The warmth of the store slowly brought my ice cold face back to life. I dislodged a single basket from the string of carts and rested my pregnant belly against it.

“What all do we need?” asked my husband.

“Hmmm… Toilet paper, trash bags, and a few odds and ends for lunch tomorrow.”

Together we slowly made our way through the store and mentally checked off our shopping list. We laughed at the large group of men buying last minute Valentine’s Day cards, and indulged ourselves on a discount chocolate heart.

This is what Valentine’s Day looks like in this phase of life.

We have been married for six beautiful years. In that time, we have explored Brazil, Mexico, the Bahamas, and various different states. We graduated college, pursued careers, and purchased a home. With God’s help, we created 4 new souls. We now know each other both inside and out.

The life we live is nothing like I imagined it would be when we first started dating. We still live in the exact same town that we swore we hated as teenagers. We no longer stay up late playing video games or making out on the couch. Instead, we collapse into bed next to each other each night and watch a few shows on Netflix before giving into exhaustion.

These days, love looks like Spencer washing the dishes when my pregnant nose is too sensitive. Love does chores around the house even when she’s exhausted. Love offers to run to the store to get that missing ingredient that his wife needs for dinner. Love does the taxes even when she hates math.

Our marriage has settled into comfortable stability. We visit grandparents on Wednesday, have date night on Thursday, and do family breakfast on Saturday. I brush the kid’s teeth at night while my husband finds pacifiers, blankets, and fills sippies.
I relish the patchy beard on my lover’s face, and I love snuggling with his soft body. I don’t need butterflies of excitement, sneaky kisses, and a bed of roses. I just need my best friend by my side, sharing this wonderfully, mundane life with me.

Five Minute Friday: Weak

 

Our bedtime routine begins with family devotions and prayer. After snuggling on the couch and listening to Daddy read from the Bible, we all crowd into the icon corner and offer up a few prayers to the Lord. Nora, my youngest daughter, loves to pray to her guardian angel. Her sweet voice squeaks out the following words:

O Angel you are truly mine, given to me by God Divine, to always be at my side and teach me what is right. I am little you are tall. I am weak, you make me strong. Never go away from me. From all danger keep me free. Amen”

Every night I do my best to sincerely say these prayers with my children. Sometimes, that is a struggle. It is easy to be thankful for the guardian angel that God has blessed me with. It isn’t as easy to apply the next part of the prayer though.

“I am little you are tall. I am weak, you make me strong.”

Perhaps this part of the prayer is difficult because I don’t like to think of myself as being being insignificant and powerless. After all, I have given birth to two children. I have conquered high school and college. I have endured kidney stones and surgeries. I have told loved ones goodbye and defeated addiction. Surely, I am not weak.

But then I am reminded of that recent temptation I gave into when no one else was looking. I could have distracted myself, but I chose not to. I am not as strong as I would like to imagine… Regardless of how much I lie to myself, I am still desperately dependent on God.

 
Psalm 21:20 “But You, Lord, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me.”

 

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