I am not a natural nurturer. Becoming a Mom four years ago instantly rocked my self-centered world. Between the cracked nipples, crashing hormones, and colicky nights I found myself drowning in hopelessness. An unknown question lurked below the surface of my skin. Did we make a mistake in having a baby?
Six months slowly passed and I vowed that we would never again reproduce. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I was bitter that I had to exchange my career to stay home with a needy newborn. I felt isolated and stuck.
Then one night I found myself plagued with nausea and feeling faint. I crept into the hall bathroom and quietly unwrapped a pregnancy test. With shaking hands I stared at the tiny screen until 3 minutes had passed; two bright pink lines stared back at me.
I have come a long way since that emotionally charged night. Over the years, I have discovered that there is nothing quite as special as rocking a precious little baby and watching her happily nurse at my breast. I now treasure the gummy smiles and hard belly laughs that only infants can offer.
The past four years have been the best of my life! There are so many memories that I have hidden in my heart: Picking apples in the Fall, Renee learning to walk on a cruise ship, both girls being baptized on Pascha, and sand castles on the beach. My life couldn’t be more adventurous.
It is funny… Four years ago I vowed to never have another baby. Now here I find myself begging God to grant me another precious soul to care for. Each baby has stretched and grown me into a better Christian woman. I finally truly understand what the Bible means when it says that women will be saved through the raising of children. (I Tim 2:15)
On this blog I plan on sharing my family’s journey through life. I’ll share our favorite recipes, our most beloved homeschool curriculums, our precious Orthodox faith, and I will share plenty of funny bumps and wrong turns along the way! So stick around awhile, I can’t wait to get to know you.